"Miami Vice" and its characters lovingly created by Antony Yerkovich.
Copyright Antony Yerkovich and Michael Mann Productions.
"A Study In Light" copyright Jane Hughes, 1993.
"When Tomorrow Comes" copyright Eurythmics, 1986.
"Long, Long Way To Go", "In The Air Tonight" copyright Philip Collins, 1982.
"Domino" copyright Anthony Banks, Michael Rutherford, Philip Collins, 1986.
Passages from "The Velveteen Rabbit", Margery Williams 1922.
Passages from "The Mirror Crack'd", copyright Agatha Christie 1962.
(NC17 - this story contains scenes of m/m sex, non-consensual and consensual.)
With a mountain of thanks to Pfyre for her time and her devotion - without her, this story would not have been possible.
A Study In Light
by elfin
"And you know that I'm going to be the one who'll be there
When you need someone to depend upon.
When tomorrow comes..."
- "When Tomorrow Comes" by the Eurythmics
A Study In Light - Part Three: When the Sun Goes Down
by elfin, co-written by Pfyre
Chapter One - ("I can feel it coming in the air tonight...")
Monday
On a stormy evening, on Dade's south
docks, a large back-up team, along with a SWAT team, waited patiently
in the cold for the deal to go down. The gray skies threatened rain and
a harsh wind battered the dock. The hour they had been waiting there
had been a long one.
A little over a mile away, Sonny
Crockett and Ricardo Tubbs waited, huddled comfortably in the warmth of
Sonny's snow-white Ferrari.
"So, we finish this up, in three hours, tops. Wanna go get somethin' to eat?"
Sonny nodded, smiling. "I think I owe you one anyway. How about I cook this time?"
A warm feeling settled over Rico. He
remembered that evening well, and had been waiting for a chance to
maybe take things a bit further. The fact that Sonny had suggested it
sent a tingle of excitement down his spine.
"It's a deal."
Sonny looked at his watch. "I guess we better go get this over with."
As his partner started the engine, Rico
said, "Two months' work is about to come together, my friend."
Dealer Kym Bodelle, had proved a tough
nut to crack, but finally, through some minor miracle, they had him
ready to make a deal.
From where Stan Sweitek was sitting, he
had a near-perfect view of the two undercover detectives, as they met
the dealer on the edge of the dock.
There were three of them, Bodelle and
two body guards. People like that liked to have other people around
them for protection. It made them feel safer. It seemed to Sonny that
one of the henchmen, a slim guy with a pony-tail, looked nervous. He
kept looking around, up to the tops of the buildings, down the
alleyways. But Bodelle made the usual polite greetings, and Crockett
had other things to think about. They handed over the money, the bad
guys handed over the dope. And then the nervous guy shouted something.
They never knew what it was, or even if it was English. But it signaled
chaos and tragedy.
In the terrifyingly fast moments that
followed, Rico saw Bodelle reach into his jacket and pull out a gun. He
went for his own weapon, glancing across at Sonny to ensure he had seen
it too. Even as his gaze settled on his partner he heard several shots
in quick succession and Sonny was falling. In a flash of horrible
clarity, he knew what had happened. His partner had been shot.
Bodelle had been close enough that the
impact of the first bullet threw Sonny off balance. As Bodelle emptied
his clip, Crockett was hit by more bullets so rapidly that instead of
falling to the dock, he was thrown back, off the edge and into the
water.
In another moment, the SWAT team had
done their job. The bad guys with guns were no longer a threat.
Without pause, Rico threw himself into
the water below, doing a 360 degree turn before something brushed
against him. His partner's motionless form surfaced beside him.
He wrapped one arm around the top of
Sonny's torso and pulled him back against his own body. Keeping the
unconscious man's head above water, he swam carefully back to the edge
of the high dock and looked up. Stan and a couple of other guys were
already there waiting. They reached out to help maneuver Crockett's
still form onto the docks.
Soaking, heedless of the cold, Rico
hauled himself onto the dock. The others moved back as he knelt by his
partner. "Sonny..." Trying to keep his own breathing under control,
Rico bent his ear to Sonny's mouth and listened, watching his partner's
chest. Sonny drew in a shallow, fast breath. Then Rico pressed two
fingers to the man's neck. There was a weak pulse. At least he was
breathing on his own - barely.
Someone had found a first aid kit and
handed Rico pads of sterile gauze to put pressure on the gaping wounds.
There was just so much blood. Rico could feel Sonny's ragged breaths
bubbling the blood through the pads. Gentle hands helped roll Sonny a
bit so more pads could be placed against the wound on his back.
Not that it helped much. In mere
moments, Sonny was lying in a slowly growing pool of his own blood.
There was nothing they could do. There was no time. Sonny was gonna die
here. He was going into deep shock, his body temperature dropping
rapidly. Someone passed Rico a blanket. Without looking up, he took it,
trying to remember the first aid he had been taught. With Stan's help,
Rico managed to roll Sonny onto the blanket and into the recovery
position. He wrapped the rest of the blanket over Sonny's body and
ensured he was still breathing.
Rico could feel the cold storm winds
through his own soaked clothing. His own temperature was dropping as
shivers started rippling through him. He was seeing single details in
absolute clarity, but the whole picture was just a blur. He could feel
panic building inside as tears fell unheeded down his face. He wanted
to hug his partner. He wanted to hold him. Keep him warm. Make him
okay. Make everything okay. But he knew any further movement could do
more damage.
Rico put a shaking hand to the cold
man's face. "Hang in there, please, Sonny." Looking up, he saw Stan
staring at him, reflecting his own shocked horror back. During the
millennium it took for the medical helicopter to arrive, Rico started
to talk to Sonny. He found his partner's fingers under the blanket and
gently took hold of them. "Sonny, you're gonna be okay. It's going to
be all right. The medevac's on its way. It's going to be all right.
You're going to be fine...."
Lieutenant Castillo picked up the phone
and listened to Sweitek's distraught voice. Hanging up, he drove calmly
to the hospital to await the arrival of the medevac.
When the helicopter landed at the
hospital, Castillo was with the medical team that was waiting on the
landing pad. Tubbs had been transported along with Crockett. This was
partly because of concern over Rico's condition; he had been showing
signs of mild hypothermia, and there was a possibility of traumatic
shock. But the main reason Tubbs had traveled in the medevac was
because he had been absolutely adamant about not leaving his partner's
side.
With a heavy blanket wrapped around him,
Tubbs stepped from the helicopter. His anxiety and fear were evident in
his stricken features. Castillo read the grief in Rico's eyes, and at
that moment he stopped believing Sonny was going to make it, and
started praying that he would.
Castillo placed a steadying hand on
Rico's shoulder as they hurried down the endless corridors attempting
to keep up with the entourage of doctors and nurses that surrounded
Sonny. His gurney was wheeled through the emergency room, directly into
the crash room.
And then a wall of nurses came up
between the officers and their stricken friend. They were stopped,
asked to leave and promised that Sonny was in the best hands.
Rico did not move. He blinked, still not
thinking clearly. He scanned the flurry of activity, desperately trying
to locate his grievously wounded partner in the midst of the chaos. His
heart jumped to his throat when he finally saw Sonny. His partner
looked as if he was already dead - so pale, in stark contrast to the
deep crimson red of the clothes already being cut away.
Somewhere from the endless void behind
him, faint voices floated. Castillo speaking in hushed tones. And a
second voice, responding, with words like hypothermia and shock. Rico
blinked again when his view was blocked by one of the medics from the
helicopter. He found that he could not resist as the man led him to a
small treatment room only yards from the crash room.
"Detective Tubbs," the medic was trying
to get his attention, "we need to get you out of those wet clothes." He
was pushing the blanket off Rico's shoulders.
For the first time, Rico looked down at
himself. He reacted in almost instantaneous, blind panic, frantically
trying to get the blood-soaked clothing away from him. It was Sonny's
blood that covered him. He had Sonny's blood on his hands! A wave of
nausea swept through him. He managed to rip his shirt off through sheer
luck, before the medic could gently capture his wrists and push him
down on to the examination bed.
"Take it easy." He paused, making
certain he had Rico's attention. He could feel the extreme coolness of
Tubbs' skin, even at his wrists. He was worried that being soaked to
the skin in both water and blood and waiting in the cold wind for the
medevac, that Tubbs was going hypothermic. He was hardly shivering, and
that was not a good sign. "Look, I've got a set of clean, dry scrubs
that you can change into." Rico nodded, his mind clearing. Once the
medic was sure Tubbs understood, he continued, "I want to check your
temperature, and the rest of your vital signs, just to make sure you're
okay."
Rico shook his head and grabbed the
scrubs. "I'm okay. Just a little cold, that's all." He pulled the dry
shirt on. "I'm not the one who was hurt." Rico finished changing. He
used the sink to wash the now dried-blood off his hands. He started to
shiver again. The medic handed him a fresh blanket to wrap around
himself.
"Look, at the very least, I think you
should rest a while." He realized that Tubbs was not going to listen,
but he had to try. "Why don't you lie down in here? Just for half an
hour. We can keep you posted on your partner's condition."
But Tubbs was out of the door and
heading for the waiting room before the medic could stop him. Sighing,
the medic followed Rico down the corridor and found Lieutenant Castillo.
Keeping an eye on Tubbs, who had
wandered over to a window seat, the medic explained to Castillo the
possibility of Rico going into mild shock. Although it did not seem
like hypothermia was going to be a problem, he advised the Lieutenant
to get Rico to have a hot drink, and to watch him. If Rico started
showing any signs of distress, they should contact the desk
immediately. The medic said he would leave word with the staff to be on
the look out for delayed shock. Rico's determination left him with
little else he could do.
Slowly, the undercover unit of Metro
Dade Vice gathered in the waiting room of the trauma unit. Stan had
stopped back at headquarters to let everyone know what had happened.
Best they find out from him. He had brought Gina and Trudy to the
hospital with him. The appearance of Mike DeLelo, police psychiatrist,
surprised Stan. The man had become close to Sonny, despite the number
of heated arguments they'd had. But how he had found out so fast was a
mystery.
Castillo had managed to scare up a spare
set of clothing for Rico. They did not fit, but they were warm, dry and
clean. They would do for now. Later someone would stop by Rico's place
and collect some clothes of his own.
Rico sat with his head resting against
the window. Outside it was getting dark, and rain was starting to fall.
Castillo watched him from where he sat.
Rico was staring blankly into the dark night. As he studied the man,
Martin noticed the subtle trembling in his detective. He was going into
shock. Quietly, the Lieutenant moved over to the couch and sat next to
Rico, facing in the same direction, putting a kind hand on the man's
arm. "Are you okay?" Rico could only shake his head.
"This is the worst part," Martin said
gently. "It all happens so fast, so suddenly. You're never prepared for
something like this to happen. You deal with it at the moment it all
comes down, simply because you have to. You don't have a choice. But
now you've stopped. There's nothing left for you to do but wait. Now,
it'll hit you; when you're trying to accept it all."
"I should have reacted faster...."
"Don't blame yourself for this. And don't second guess it. You know it won't do any good."
He did not move. "It was all so fast.... We had so much backup.... How could this have happened?"
"It happened Rico. Now, we have to deal with it."
"We were gonna go back to the boat....
Sonny was gonna cook for me. He said he owed me one.... What am I gonna
do if he dies?"
Castillo wanted to say, 'He's not gonna
die,' but he could not lie to Tubbs. From what he had witnessed, there
was a very good chance that Crockett was going to die. Jesus, what was
he gonna do? What were any of them going to do? He took a deep breath.
He had to be strong for these people, because they were all going to
look to him for strength. He wished he knew he had it.
The on-duty doctor that night was an
Englishman, Dr. Bri Fielding. He was part of the small group that met
the helicopter. He had been about to leave for the night when he had
heard that a police officer had been shot multiple times and was being
brought to the hospital needing emergency treatment. He had recognized
the officer's name and immediately notified the surgeon on duty, put
the ER on standby and gone out to meet the helicopter.
In the operating theatre, the surgeons
found themselves facing a near-impossible task. Aside from the massive
internal and external hemorrhaging, a collapsed lung and the damage
caused by the five bullets that had actually hit him, Sonny had lost a
dangerous amount of blood.
They had started immediate plasma and
glucose IVs at the dockside. But with the gaping wounds, Sonny had bled
out nearly as fast as the fluids went in. He was still alive, and an
EEG indicated there was still brain activity, but there was very high
possibility that there had been at least some brain damage.
And there was another complication. One
of the bullets had somehow splintered against the spine. They had
already removed the three others that had lodged inside him. The fourth
had apparently cut its path straight through him and resulted in the
horrendous exit wound in Sonny's back. It was a miracle that more of
his major organs had not been damaged. It was a miracle the man was
still alive.
As desperate as the situation was, there
was little more they could do for now. They had taken enough chances
already. Chances that had needed to be taken. But to try to remove the
splinters themselves was far too high a risk. After a very brief
discussion, expert neurosurgeon Ben Waltham was called, but he was in
Seattle. They faced an eight hour wait for him to arrive.
Seven hours after the nightmare had
begun, Doctor Bri Fielding left the operating theatre exhausted, but
still running on adrenaline. He sighed, now he had to face the
assembled vice unit.
He took Rico and Castillo aside, and
explained what was happening. He was an experienced doctor, who had
been in this situation countless times before. But for some reason,
this time, his professional calm kept slipping. He did not want to
explain to these gentlemen how desperate the situation was, how Sonny
actually did not have eight hours to wait for a plane to land. He could
not keep the anxiety out of his voice.
He stopped talking. It was obvious the
patient's partner had heard him, and understood what he was saying. He
hesitated a moment, before continuing.
"He lost a great deal of blood. When
this happens the brain doesn't always get enough oxygen. If that was
case here, there's a high probability of brain damage. The EEG
indicates that there is still brain activity, but there's no way to
determine if there is any damage, or the extent of that damage, until
he wakes. There was some intestinal damage, a bruised kidney and a
great deal of internal disruption. We've repaired all that we can." Bri
sighed. He hated this. Hated telling people how bad things really are.
"And there's something else. Because of
the trauma to his spine, when the bullet splintered, we're concerned
with possible spinal cord damage. To minimize the extent of the damage,
we've administered an experimental inhibitor. Tests have proven that
this drug can help prevent paralysis."
Rico felt his whole body go cold. "I
could have made things worse. At the docks. I... I didn't realize...."
Both Castillo and Fielding heard the shock in his voice, but Martin was
the first to work out what he was saying; what he was starting to blame
himself for.
"Rico, don't. Everything that you did for Sonny on the docks had to be done. You saved his life."
Bri realized what was happening. "Oh,
God.... Don't think like that, please. There was nothing you could have
or should have done differently. Believe me, if you hadn't acted as
quickly or as competently as you did, Sonny wouldn't have the chance
he's got."
Tubbs calmed slightly, but didn't even
try to stave the emotion in his voice when he asked, "Can I see him?"
Castillo expected Bri to flatly refuse.
He knew the procedure; visitors were _never_ allowed in to Recovery.
But Bri sat back, thought for a moment, and nodded. "It's highly
irregular, but under the circumstances, I think you should see him."
Castillo's heart sank. If they were making this extreme exception,
Crockett's chances of survival must be almost non-existent.
Fielding continued. "I must warn you, he
looks bad, and he is. It's best that we disturb the area of his back,
in which the splinters are located, as little as possible. A tube has
been inserted to drain the excess fluids from the wound. It's not a
pleasant sight. I know you're used to seeing terrible things detective,
" he said off Rico's look, "but Sonny is someone you know and care for,
this isn't some stranger. This time, you're going to feel nauseous.
That's a promise."
In hospital gowns, masks and caps to
match, the two men followed the doctor into the recovery room. It was a
quiet hive of activity - other patients being brought in and taken out.
Nurses going about their duties. It was all very clinical and
professional, very clean and absolutely terrifying. At the end of the
room, there was a transparent cocoon, hanging down from the ceiling and
encompassing a large area of the floor. From the entrance to the room,
Rico could make out a bed, a couple of carts supporting monitors, and a
person lying in the middle of it all.
Rico could feel the tears starting again, itching under the mask as they rolled down his face.
After giving them a moment to prepare,
Bri led them over to the quarantine tent and moved in through the
plastic flaps. There was more than enough room for the three men
inside. The monitors hummed and beeped, all maintaining their own slow
rhythms. The sound of air being compressed and released cut through it
all, catching Rico's attention.
Sonny was so weak, and his systems so
overtaxed they had decided to put him on a partial support respirator.
There was tube down his throat connected to the machine, helping him to
breathe. Bri explained that the respirator would do most of the work
for the weakened man, allowing his body time to try and recover from
its many traumas.
Rico finally felt ready to let his gaze
drift down to the patient on the bed. His partner was lying on his
side, propped against a row of pillows, put there to stop him rolling
onto his front. His arms were out in front of him, resting on the top
pillow; needles connected to thin tubes had been pushed into his veins.
At least one of them was keeping him transfused; replacing his lost
blood.
There were wires tucked into the top of
the hospital gown that had been draped over him, allowing the monitors
to keep track of his heart rate and respiration. His blond hair was
covered by a cap like those the man had been given to wear before
coming in here. His feet and lower legs were covered by a folded sheet.
Rico could not stop his eyes from
wandering around to his partner's back, and to the wider tube that ran
from a tuck in his skin to a clear plastic bag. There was a slow flow
of a red tinged, thick liquid in the tube. Rico felt a hot surge of
bile in the back of his throat. He swallowed hard.
Bri's gentle accent betrayed his concern, "Are you okay?"
Rico nodded, "Yeah."
"He's still sedated. All we can do now is watch him, help him, and wait."
Even Castillo sounded choked when he asked, "What are his chances?"
"At this point? About 1 in 500."
"He looks so small...." Rico murmured as
the doctor spoke to the nurse. He felt his boss's hand on his shoulder,
comforting him silently. It did not work. Rico's mind was in turmoil;
grief and guilt and panic and other emotions he did not even want to
think about, all fighting for attention.
Sonny had always been more than just a
partner. He was a brother, a friend, a confidant. And lately their
relationship had been changing. Rico dare not even think about Sonny's
chances of survival. A cold fist closed around his heart. 1 in 500 -
surely that meant he was going to die?
Gently, he reached down and rubbed the
back of Sonny's hand with his finger tips. He crouched down next to the
bed, wanting - needing - to be closer to his partner during what deep
down he believed were the last hours of this man's life.
Blissfully unconscious. Sonny looked
peaceful; eyes closed, breathing controlled.... Rico was not a
religious man, but as he crouched there, still touching the cold hand,
he whispered a short prayer. And with his voice lowered to a breath, he
told Sonny that he loved him.
The hand he reached out to Sonny's face
was shaking, no longer with cold, but with fear. He rubbed his thumb
across the top of his partner's forehead, just below the base of the
cap. "You're doing great, Sonny, just hang in there for us. You're
gonna be okay." No longer caring what his Lieutenant thought, he leaned
across and kissed Sonny's forehead.
Behind him, Castillo had turned away, allowing him a private moment.
2:30 am
In the waiting room, Stan leaned against
the wall, lost in his own memories of Sonny and of Lare - Larry Ray
Zito. He missed his old partner terribly. For ages he had blamed Sonny
for the his friend's death, but Sonny still stayed, through the grief
and the tears and the sleepless nights. The other detective was there
for him, offering him solitude on the boat and company when he needed
it.
Footsteps in the corridor caused him to
look up. A very solemn Izzy Marino was walking towards them hesitantly.
There was none of his bizarre character, no humour or mischief in his
expression. He had heard the news. He knew, as Izzy always knew, that a
Metro Dade vice officer had been shot, most likely killed, in a shoot
out on the docks earlier that evening.
Stan pushed himself away from the wall
and met Izzy at the entrance to the waiting area. Izzy's pace did not
give away the desperation that Stan saw in his eyes.
"Is he...?"
Stan took him by the shoulder and lead
him back into the corridor. He kept his voice low. Gina had cried
herself to sleep and Trudy was sitting with her partner in her arms. He
did not want to upset either of them by talking about the situation.
Once they were at a comfortable
distance, he leaned against the wall. "He's alive. But they say his
chances aren't good."
"Where's Rico?"
"He and Castillo went in to see him
about an hour ago. They're still in there. They're waiting for a
neurosurgeon to fly in from somewhere or other. He's expected at 8:30.
They're keeping Sonny in recovery until he can be taken back into
theatre."
"Are you okay?"
Stan looked away for a moment, the
question bringing tears to his eyes. "Not really. I was there when it
happened."
"I'm so sorry...."
Stan stared at Izzy in disbelief. "Why are you here?"
"I have my reasons for being concerned. I've known Sonny for a long time."
There was something else, something Izzy was not going to talk about.
A voice disturbed them. "Stan...."
Castillo, still dressed in the medical gown, was walking towards them.
He joined them, grateful that they were already out of earshot of the
two women detectives. The dark man glanced at Izzy, then directed his
full attention to his detective as the big man asked, "How is he?"
"If you want to see him, you can. Rico's still in with him."
"Lieutenant...."
"They don't think he'll make it through the night."
Stan left to get gowned up. Castillo was left standing with Izzy in the corridor.
"Do you have anything?"
"Travellyan and Bodelle met at one of
Cintaro's parties. Rumour has it that they... liked each other.
Travellyan was last seen several days ago, hanging around Bodelle's
place in Tampa Bay."
"Do you think he had something to do with this?"
"I do not think. I provide the skinny. You do the detective work."
There was a comfortable silence between
them for a while, as Castillo took in this latest piece of information
and Izzy paced. Finally he stopped and said gently, "How's Tubbs?"
"Heartbroken."
The hours passed. They passed with
agonizing slowness. Stan could not bear to see Sonny. Rico did not want
to be anywhere else. Gina and Trudy spent some emotional minutes with
him; trying to accept that they may be saying their good-byes.
At 4:30 am Bri checked on his patient as
he had done every 15 minutes since Sonny had come out of surgery. If
Sonny started to slip away, it had been agreed that they would let him
go quietly. In his current condition, his body would not be able to
cope with the stresses of heroic resuscitation measures.
After performing the necessary checks,
Bri pulled a chair next to Rico and sat down still facing Sonny. "He's
hanging on." There was a distinct note of awe in his voice.
Rico gave him a tired smile. "He's a
stubborn bastard when he wants to be." He looked down again to where he
held Sonny's fingers carefully avoiding the transfusion line that ran
into a vein in the back of his hand. The he returned his gaze to
Fielding. "You're English."
"Yes. Came over from university. It was
just too quiet over in Britain." He smiled to himself, momentarily lost
in memory. When he came back to the present, he continued, "Actually, I
miss it a great deal."
"Why did you leave?"
"Someone I cared about died. I found I
couldn't live without him." He stood up. "When you love someone that
deeply, it's very hard to let them go. Believe me, I know what you're
going through."
Rico thought the doctor was going to
leave, but instead he moved round to the other side of the bed and bent
to inspect the area on Sonny's back where the tube for the drain
protruded from. After a moment he motioned for one of the nurses to
come in to the tent, he pointed something out to her. She left, but
returned shortly with a long-needled syringe and some swabs.
As far as Rico could make out, Bri used
the swabs to clear something from around the tube's entrance to Sonny's
body, and then the needle was sunk into the top of his spine.
Sonny obviously did not feel a thing, but Rico winced for him. "Is he okay?"
Bri nodded. "As okay as could be
expected. More okay then he has any real right to be in his condition."
He smiled, meeting Rico's concerned eyes with a kind look. "He's
hanging on. You're doing the best thing for him. Keep talking to him.
There's a good chance he can hear you."
8:15 am
"Waltham's plane just landed. Get Crockett into the operating theatre and open him up."
Bri nodded at Castillo where he stood
just inside the tent. In turn, Martin laid a gentle hand on Rico's
shoulder, "We have to go. The surgeon's plane has landed. He's on his
way."
A mixture of relief and sudden anxiety
swept through Rico with nauseating speed. It was comforting sitting
with Sonny, watching over him. As if being there, he could stop his
partner slipping away from them. To have to leave him alone, to have
him go back under the surgeon's knife in a place where he could not be
there with him, terrified him.
Reluctantly, he stood, giving Sonny's
fingers a final squeeze before releasing his hand. "I'll see you later,
Sonny. You keep fighting for us."
Bri watched the two men walk quietly
away, back to the waiting room. More long hours stretched ahead of
them. At least now, they could do something productive to help this man.
After leaving the recovery room, as they
prepped Sonny for surgery for the second time, Rico had gone for a
walk. In the hospital parking lot, he saw Sonny's Ferrari. Someone must
have rescued it from the docks. Sonny would never have forgiven them if
they had left it there to be stolen. He cherished that car. Frowning,
he wondered. Rico dug his hand into his trouser pocket and fetched out
a small key-ring. One of the keys unlocked and started the car in front
of him.
There was something very therapeutic
about driving a very powerful car to its limits. Tears streamed down
his face as he wheeled her out of the hospital drive and onto the road.
He headed south, letting his tears dry on his cheeks as he hit the
freeway down into the glades. The car purred around him. Memories
flooded back through his mind; times they had been in this car
together, like a lifetime made up of journeys. There had never been
anyone like Sonny in his life before, and he knew there would never be
again.
So many regrets pounded at him. Why
didn't he do anything after the kiss they had shared that night? Why
had he left it so long to make his feelings known? Only to have them
revealed under such horrific circumstances.
His vision started to blur as he
considered the distinct possibility that Sonny could die; more than a
possibility. There was little chance that he would survive.
He remembered, as he drove, times they
had worked together. Going under to find the leak in the Justice
Department. That one had meant convincing lots of people that he had
'gone over to the other side'. As he had shouted at Sonny in the
interview room, he had sworn that he could see the hurt in his
partner's eyes - it had made it so much harder to do - but they were
good together. They had pulled off the act--for a while.
A memory pushed its way to the
forefront. While they were dealing with the art thieves, he had had a
slight disagreement with the bad guys. When he had returned to the
office, the art cop that was heading the case had started mouthing off
at him. He had the guy up against the office wall when Sonny had come
in.
In passing, he had heard his partner say
simply, "Put the nice man down, Rico." He'd had to laugh. He had just
let it go, joined Sonny for breakfast and instantly everything was okay.
That was the magic between them, that
together they could make all the bad things go away, and it would be
all right. That was the only way they could survive it, to be there for
one another, to support one another through it all. While they were out
there, alone undercover, and off-duty, during the bizarre out-of-office
hours that they had.
Sonny meant so much to him it was hard
to measure. The whole Burnett incident had shaken their relationship to
the core - but Rico knew, that the second time he had looked into his
partner's eyes, down the barrel of his gun, that Sonny had recognized
him and had deliberately missed. He had held onto that look through all
the rest of it.
Until one evening, when they had had the
discussion they were always going to have. Sonny constantly trying to
apologize. Rico trying to get past the concrete wall his partner had
built.
Sonny honestly had not been able to
remember anything. All he knew was what others had told him, and what
they had told him had scared him to death. Each time he had faced Rico
there had been terror and apology deep in his eyes. And after the
initial mistrust had faded to nothing, Rico desperately wanted to get
past that and put the whole thing behind them, to go back to what their
partnership, and their friendship, had once been.
He guessed he had already fallen in love
with Sonny even back then. Now he knew how deep his feelings ran. He
was certain that, given time, Sonny could match them with his own. If
he ever got the chance.
Yanking down on the wheel suddenly, he
threw the car into a 180 degree turn. He headed back to Miami.
Stan had phoned Caroline, had left her
with the worry of what to tell Billy. And with the decision of whether
or not to bring the youngster to Miami.
Rico returned to the hospital long
before they were done in the operating theatre. He was waiting, not
pacing, just standing with his head rested against the window. In his
hand he held something; something he had had with him ever since Sonny
was bundled gently into the medevac. He held Sonny's badge and, now and
again, his tears would fall onto it.
********
3:45 pm
After five hours of delicate surgery,
and two hours in recovery, Fielding sat by his patient's bed in the
Intensive Care Unit. Around him, the monitoring equipment bleeped in
differing rhythms.
Bri eased Sonny's hair back from his
face. "You're doing well, Sonny." Sometimes it was too easy to forget
that it was a person under the surgeon's knife; he always felt it good
to remind himself. Sonny was fast becoming a miracle case. His survival
chances had increased from 1 in 500 to a good 20 percent. The next
twenty-four hours were critical.
Despite the success of the surgery,
Sonny was still unable to breathe on his own. They had him on the
respirator with partial support. Any help they could give him to
increase his chances of survival, was being given. Ben Waltham was a
highly respected man - Sonny was in the best hands. He would get the
best care. More IV lines had been set up - glucose, antibiotics and yet
another unit of blood.
Bri reached over and adjusted one of the
monitors. Then leaned back to take a good look at the man whose life
they just might have saved. Sonny was lying on his side, in a mirror to
the position he had first been in while in recovery. Fielding sighed.
He knew just how Sonny's life had changed in the last few hours. From
here on in, it was his fight. There was only a certain amount they
could do for him. Every two hours he would be turned to forestall
bedsores and pressure sores - for the same reason, he was lying on an
air mattress and a pillow had been placed between his knees. His weight
was balanced against pillows in front of him, making certain he did not
roll and crush the drainage tube.
They would keep him sedated for the next
48 hours. After that, they would continue with huge doses of
pain-killers, and wait for him to wake up. It was the only way to tell
how extensive the brain damage was.
As Bri sat there, he could feel his own
mind trying to shut down. He was so tired, but it was relaxing,
somehow, watching his patient sleep. Strange, how someone who, awake,
would be in agonizing pain, could look so peaceful. Sonny had a great
many stitches, both internal and external. It was going to take a long,
long time for him to heal.
It frightened Fielding to realize how
fast a healthy, vibrant human being could be stopped and crushed. This
time yesterday, he guessed, Sonny Crockett was sitting in his office
drinking coffee with his colleagues, or driving somewhere to somewhere
with his partner in his fast, flashy car. Now he was unconscious,
fighting a desperate battle for his life; each breath drawn a minor
victory. Too fast. These things happened way too fast.
**************************************
Chapter Two