What Price Forgiveness?
by elfin
"I need you to make me a promise."
"Anything, Will. Name your desire."
~
He found Elizabeth out on the terrace of Tia Dalma's Bayou dwelling,
the thick mist curling, ever-shifting, around her slender ankles
sheathed in leather boots. For a moment he let himself be
distracted by his old desires, those which had been waning and had, the
previous night, been finally and irrevocably wiped away.
She turned her head to acknowledge him without a smile and he stepped
forward to lean on the wooden rail, keeping a respectable distance from
her, sweeping the candle-lit scene with unbelieving eyes. The
song of the mourners, standing waist-deep in the water, still squeezed
his heart painfully, threatening to break it clean in two.
His only hope was apparently to be pinned on a man who'd twice tried to
kill him.
Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak but Will got his words out
first. "Jack didn't stay behind of his own free will, did he?"
With only the barest of hesitations, she replied, "He's a good man."
"I wasn't questioning his character or standing, but I can't believe
his motivations. He wouldn't have stayed behind to die, even with
the Pearl."
Grief, he supposed, turned her mood quickly. "You presume to know
him, yet it was he who abandoned you to the Dutchman in his place!"
"And it is for that reason that I question him remaining behind.
Jack's a coward at heart...."
She jumped in, "Now you presume to know his heart!"
Will looked back at the bright flickering flames - too many to count -
all burning for Jack. "I do know his heart. He made me a
promise last night he would not have broken."
Elizabeth regarded him curiously, "What kind of promise?"
But his only answer was a question of his own. "Tell me what
happened on the deck of the Pearl. I saw you kissing him."
Elizabeth looked away, and he noticed more tears bloom at the edges of
her eyes. "The kiss was nothing but a distraction." She
threw her head back around to challenge him, "Had he been a good man,
Will, the distraction would not have been necessary, nor would he have
responded to it in such a way that allowed me to trick him! He
knows I am betrothed to you."
"In another life we were betrothed, Elizabeth." Will told her
gently with a firm tone. "We are no longer those people."
He watched for her acknowledgement, continuing when she inclined her
head, "Why did you need such a distraction? What does that have
to do with him staying behind?"
Bowing her head, she confessed. "While his mind was on me, I
shackled him to the ship."
Despite having known it in his heart, to hear the words, to suddenly
have a clear picture in his mind of Jack - his Jack - chained, unable
to pull free as the Kraken pulled his beloved ship from underneath him
and that giant mouth with teeth of razors decended upon him.
Anger blazed through him as his imagined the captain's quiet panic, his
struggle to get free even when there was nowhere left to run.
"Who are you to condemn him to death?" he demanded
And she countered, "Who are you to condemn us all?"
"We might all have made it to the island alive, you don't know."
"It was after Jack! It was following the black spot, Will, you
know that."
But her imploring tone carried no weight. His lover was gone save
for the small hope Tia Dalma had given him.
~
the previous night
Will sat in the shadows on deck of the Pearl, watching the wisps of
clouds pass across the moon as its white diamonds sparkled on the
surface of the sea.
His thoughts were occupied in part with his father, still trapped on
that hellish ship under its inhuman captain and with no chance of
rescue now that the chest and the damnable heart were in Norrington's
clutches.
Jack appeared at his side like an apparition, silent as the grave and
as quick as the spirits. Will started, turned his head and stared
with surprise at Jack's bowed one. His posture was submissive -
down on his knees as if Will was some terrible threat not to be
thwarted with his usual flare of words.
Will gaped, schooling his expression quickly when the dark head was
raised and black eyes met his own.
"I am... so... sincerely so sorry, William." The words sounded
rehearsed, but not falsehoods. As if this was something Jack had
deemed too important to trust to the moment.
Will waited, kept his astonishment well hidden, until finally asking,
"Why did you do it?"
Inky darkness held his gaze as the next words were carefully
composed. "I'm scared."
Simple and complex, there was the truth of it; Jack's heart bared to
him. Maybe the first honest answer he'd heard from the pirate
since fate had brought them in to one another's company.
"Of death?"
Jack shook his head, the barest, faintest of smiles touching his lips
for a mere breath. "Not of death. Of life, on the
Dutchman. Of an eternity slaving under Davy Jones.
Becoming... a part of his ship."
Anger flared within Will for a single heartbeat, "Of the fate of my
father?"
But the rage was gone even before Jack had replied.
"Yes. But Jones has an interest in me he doesn't have in your
father, Will. Why else would your soul ne'er be worth mine?"
For a long time, Will contemplated the real fear staring up at him from
the depths of Jack's almond eyes.
"Would you have abandoned me to serve out your sentence?"
Jack raised an adorned hand from the deck, curled his fingers as if to
make a point with his familiar gesturing, but let it drop back.
"No, Will. I would've come lookin' for you.
Eventually. That's the trouble with guilt; it eats away at the
gut and the resolve until before I knew it I'd have been checking every
shipwreck in the southern seas for signs of Jones and his monstrous
crew."
Will wondered how long 'eventually' would have been, but he didn't need
to know.
"What do you want from me, Jack?"
Such a serious expression, the one that regarded him when that regal
head was raised. "Forgiveness."
Will was taken aback. "Why?"
"Because I find I'm in need of it, lad." Sincerity like he'd
never heard before. "I find it matters."
Shaking his head, "How often have you asked... anyone for forgiveness?"
"Not often, I can promise. I don't go makin' a habit out of
it." Still sincere, still asking with every word.
"Jack...." How could he not? Again Jack had put his life in
the path of danger and again Will seemed to stand between the captain
and damnation. His hand rose of its own accord, drawn to Jack's
face, hovering just away the dark tanned, roughly shaven cheek.
"I forgive you."
Jack seemed to wilt, his shoulders dropping, head bowing away from
Will's almost-touch, and he murmured, "Thank you."
"Now get from your knees; it's not a position that suits you, Captain
Jack Sparrow."
Will allowed a little teasing into his tone and Jack's head snapped up,
his dark eyes finally holding a little of his usual spark as he shifted
deliberately, taking his legs out from under him as he sat on the deck
at Will's side, knees bent, leaning casually on one hand splayed on the
wet boards.
"There are positions that suit me better...." He didn't add his
habitual query, 'savvy', but Will heard it anyway.
He could feel his own heart beating faster with the implication.
It seemed so long since their last encounter - months in time and so
much more in happening - that he'd almost pushed aside the memories of
Jack's sure touch, his hard, needy body, the deep, demanding kisses,
uncertain if he'd ever feel them again. But at the same time, a
slicing disappointment cut across his arousal.
"Is that why you wanted my forgiveness?"
"No, Will. I need naught but your permission to proposition
you. I wanted your forgiveness as I said, I found a pressing
desire for it."
"I was under the impression that pressing desire was for something
else?" The tease was back.
Jack's eyes caught him, held him, "It's for that very reason I asked
your forgiveness." His level voice spoke more than his words
implied. "You're all I've thought about, mate, for a long time
now."
"Liar," but there was humour in Will's accusation. "You've been
all over Elizabeth."
"Because she's yours, savvy?"
Stunned, Will thought he might truly savvy. He leaned forward,
fingers ghosting over Jack's chin, mouth close enough that the hairs of
Jack's moustache grazed his lips.
"I need you to make me a promise."
He felt the bold tip of Jack's tongue. "Anything, Will.
Name your desire."
"Neither of us stays or is left behind again."
The elaborate head tilted just a little. "The pirates' code..."
"I don't care about the pirates' code, Jack, I care about you.
And me, for that matter. Now promise me, or I'll find someone
else on whom to lavish my attentions. And mean it, Jack, or it
means nothing and neither will what we do next."
Rough lips touched his own so that when the pirate spoke he could feel
the words as well as hear them. "I promise I won't leave you or
stay behind myself if you promise never to abandon me on any
godforsaken tropical islands."
Will smiled. "You have my word."
"As a pirate?"
"Of course. Unless you want it as a blacksmith?"
Jack kissed him. Gently at first, with hardly any pressure at
all, then Will felt a hand on his shoulder and long fingers in his hair
and his mouth was plundered by the expert.
The hard caress travelled over his back and he flinched.
The kiss was withdrawn and concern voiced his name, "Will...."
He said nothing but Jack's suspicions were already aroused.
Rising to his knees once again, and before Will could stop him, he
pushed the linen shirt from Will's shoulders and peered through the
gloom at the wounds still raw from Jones' lash.
When Jack started to his feet, Will was ready for it. One
lightening-quick hand wrapped around the pirate's left wrist, the other
going to his right shoulder. "I said, I forgive you."
"You forgive too readily, Will," Jack murmured, dark eyes lowered,
hands resting still on Will's bare shoulders.
Will lifted his hand, swept an open palm over Jack's long hair - black
silk and dreadlocks, wooden beads and metal coins, the rough,
leather-threaded plat falling from crown to spine.
"The reward far outweighs the risk," Will told him gently.
It won him another change in mood, a return to the seduction.
"Maybe I could... improve the reward?" The tone of his voice
spoke clearly of Jack's intentions, and they were more than
welcome. "Accompany me to my cabin, Will?"
"Finally!"
After that, words seemed of little consequence.
~
presently
Quietly, and now with reverence, Elizabeth asked him, "Can you forgive
me, Will?"
He looked at her and knew he couldn't until Jack was back in his arms -
alive or dead. So he asked, "For which part do you seek
atonement? For being the last to kiss my greatest love? Or
for sending him to a bloody grave?"
He saw the tears in her eyes, tears he knew had been gathering before,
but of remorse or of grief he did not know.
"For taking from you what was obviously not mine to take."
Without waiting for his response, she turned and hurried into the warm
glow of the cabin's interior where fate and destiny awaited them all.
fin
elfin
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